Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
This is going to veer into cheesiness SO quickly!
Yes, I could easily write this about either of my parents, brothers, or my husband. But the no brainer is to write it about my first-born. I don't even think this has to be specific to my Monkey, since the universal conclusion of every Mom (and Dad, for that matter) I've talked to is that they had no idea how much it was possible to love someone until they had a child. You can use the cliches about dying for someone all you want, but once I became a parent I really understood them. No doubt that given a split second decision I'd instinctively throw myself in front of a train for one of my kids. I used to make lists in my head about what keepsakes I'd save first in case of a fire (photo albums, heirlooms jewelry, whatnot), but that's irrelevant now. All I can do now is run through scenarios of how to get the kids out. The rest is useless. The hardest thing I've ever come to accept was the first time I could not provide something for her that I thought she needed. I couldn't get over how wrong it felt, how unfair it was, and how much it undermined my confidence as a parent to fail her in that way. Thank heavens it wasn't as essential as I felt at the time, but that feeling of lacking something as a parent she needed is one I hope never to experience again, although I'm sure it will happen many, many times. I can only pray none will actually be as significant a loss as I thought that first one was.
I know I'm biased, but I'm also confident that my Monkey is the most amazing, brilliant, beautiful child ever produced. Best.girl.ever. Ever. She makes my heart swell and my chest tighten and my mouth stretch horizontally to at least twice it's normal size. I got misty eyed just taking her to the Ice Capades, people.
What's the quote? To the world you may be just one person, but to one person, you are the world. To Monkey, I'm the world right now (we've been in a Mommy phase for a really long time now). And it's a huge, daunting responsibility to nurture the limitless potential in that child. During the rare times I actually get a moment of stillness in church, it's the first place my head goes. Please, please, give me the strength, wisdom, patience, grace, and so on I need to never hold these kids back from achieving everything or anything God has made possible for them. Because while I've never been an overtly religious person, there's something about your own child that makes it clear that miracles can - they just must - happen every day.