Blog Challenge - Day 1.

I have an x-month old and already I'm thinking: I'm going to miss him/her at this age!  Have you felt that way, and what age do you miss most?

First post of my blog challenge.  This is a great question, particularly since I have two kids to think about.  It's particularly apropos because today is Lion's first birthday!  Happy birthday, Baby Lion!  (He celebrated by pulling an all-nighter with a combination of emerging molars and an ear infection.  Not the birthday gift I wanted for him!)

I'm definitely going to miss the baby in him.  He's just such a sweet guy, but a total handful.  (The silver lining of a sick kid, of course, is that you get to cuddle with a usually non-stop mover.  Although I would have preferred not to do that from 12-6 a.m. straight last night.)  If I have to miss one age the most, it's the just pre-mobile Lion; the one where he sits and grins at everyone and just takes it all in.  He seemed to really get how amazing the world is and be patiently waiting for it to open up to him.  He had this anticipatory glint in his eye: let's see what'll happen next, Mom!  At that age I continuously marveled at how I could have given birth to such a CHILL kid - not realizing how much mobility would show his true colors.  Although he's essentially still a low-key guy... just with an entire world to explore.  I can't wait for another age when he'll take an occasional break to hang out with Mom.

Miss Monkey is almost four, and I used to say that every age quickly became my favorite age.  It's just been so much fun watching her evolve.  Three-and-a-half, however, has not been my favorite age.  I am glad it's on it's way out, as I'm already starting to see signs of a more typical (or so I read) four-year old emerging.  Maybe I'm being too tough on the age of three-and-a-half, because it came at a time of big transition for all of us, and that could be to blame instead.  Regardless, it was the toughest age by far in terms of discipline and fighting.  I really had to examine myself as a parent and rethink some old habits.  I think we came out of it well, though.  I definitely grew - learned a lot about controlling my temper and even more about Monkey and what she needs out of a parent.  All the things you always hear about I've had to learn to execute - calm, consistent consequences.  She's a very rational kid, as long as I'm a rational Mom.  So I've had to improve myself to improve her, and I'm actually pretty proud of where we are.

A blog challenge

I've been thinking about how to keep this interesting and found a great idea on another blog I like reading.  So with thanks to Bringing Up Bumble, I'm going to try to do a post a month, on the topics below.  I really like (most) of the topics, and am looking forward to finding a really consistent voice in them.  I'm not doing the posts that require a pic of myself, though, since I man the camera at our house and consequently... those pics don't exist!  The YouTube video will be an iPhone video, and it won't be going on YouTube, since Hubbie is hard core about internet privacy and, well, he knows a lot more about it than I do, so I listen.  That's why I'm not using any of our real names here, either.

Day 1.  I have an x-month old and already I'm thinking: I'm going to miss him/her at this age!  Have you felt that way, and what age do you miss most?

Day 2.  What makes you uniquely you?

Day 3.  A photo that makes you happy.

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Your most embarrassing moment
Day 7. Do you believe in the "cry until he sleeps" method?
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What are some of your favorite products, and what foundation/powder do you wear?
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don't cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. A YouTube video.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. What do you wish for?
Day 16. How old was baby when he started sleeping through the night and how did you do this?
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. If you could, what would you tell yourself before you had your baby?
Day 19. Write about your significant other.
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write about your most vivid childhood memory. Post a picture of you taken over ten years ago.
Day 22. What did you do today?
Day 23. Who's your celebrity look alike?
Day 24. What is God teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Who are your favorite bloggers?
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Your day, in great detail.
Day 30. What do you think is going to happen to you after you die?
Day 31. Your favorite quote.

And the rest of the weekend...

I feel like we had a pretty chill weekend.  But when I list out what we actually did, it was pretty busy.  And that makes me proud, actually.  That we had lots of experiences without feeling hassled.  It's a lot of what I'm shooting for lately.  Aside from Princesses on Ice, our other big moment was Lion's first trip to the Emergency Room.  The kid is ridiculously physical, so I knew it was coming, but I sort of expected to get past his first birthday.  Nope. 

Sunday morning, in the midst of the usual slow getting moving, Hubbie put Lion up on the bed.  To keep him away from the panic button, which is his new target du jour.  Did you know our house had a panic button?  Neither did we.  We knew we had two buttons and a switch low on the wall that had never done anything.  But apparently when pushed in a certain order (that only Lion knows), they act as a panic button.  We learned this last week when Lion activated it.  Now THAT was exciting.  We had to turn it off at the fuse box, since it seems the alarm doesn't even have to be on for it to work.  Lovely.

So now every time he's in our room, Lion heads straight for the panic button.  And Hubbie, hoping to avoid a repeat, put him up on the bed.  Except Lion still headed for the panic button, by going head-first off the bed.  The goose-egg turned up quickly with a bleeding scratch to the forehead.  I was going to be calm about it (I swear!)" until I saw blood underneath his nose.  Petrified that something in his head was now bleeding out his nose, we went straight to the ER.  Freaking completely out.

They were lovely and helpful and quick (relatively).  And agreed that a nosebleed could have been a really bad sign.  Except in this case, it just meant he had also scratched himself under the nose.  So false alarm.  I know Hubbie thinks I overreact to these things, but I have NO qualms about a better-safe-than-sorry posture to medical care.  Period.  No questions asked.  And I don't feel stupid about it, I feel relieved.  And when Monkey and I did her gratefuls that night, she was grateful he was okay.  And I was, too.

This was one of those wonderful, event and sometimes drama-filled weekends.  Lots going on, but it's all blurring together in my head.  All in all, pretty successful and fun. 

I took Monkey to Princesses on Ice this weekend.  She's never been the Princessy type, but she looooves Belle from Beauty and the Beast.  And I love figure skating and sort of hope she will, too, someday, so I thought this would be fun.  And it was.  We rode the metro, which she adores, and I totally gave in to the crass Disney commercialism which abounded.  Lost a lot of respect for Disney, actually.  They resorted to every parent-hated sales strategy there is, including parading light-up toys made of crap Chinese plastic and super-sugary brightly colored nasty not-really-food up and down the aisles during every pause.  There was no escaping it.  And the toy I ultimately sprung for - a Barbie knock-off of Belle - is total trash.  Twenty-two dollars of I'm embarrassed my kid owns this trash.  Belle's dress might as well be made of paper, her hair is nasty, and her head comes off a few times a day.  The shoes she came with don't fit.  Are just too small.... it's bizarre.  Why would you even provide shoes for a doll that will NEVER FIT on the doll's foot?!?  So I'll tred carefully around Disney in the future, which is sad.

Anyway, we really had a lovely time, overall.  It really hit me very hard, actually, going to this big show with her.  So many people, such chaos, but such flutters in her little heart over the excitement.  And when we walked into the arena and the light were low, and Tinkerbell was already skating and we hurried down the dark stairs so we wouldn't miss a single minute of it.... I started to cry.  Happy tears.  For some reason it was all very overwhelming and felt like a huge childhood milestone.  She's just such a KID now.  I was just bursting with who knows what?  Sappiness?  Totally.  It was great.  I know, that's hugely hypocritical.  Can I love the experience of the trashy show but hate the trash?  Love the game but hate the player?  For now, I'm okay with that.  But the next movie I introduce her to will probably be Pixar.  :)

It's funny.  While Monkey was clearly glad to have her Dad around this weekend, she also did a lot of acting up.  When it's just me, life is very calm, because I've learned not to take very much on when I'm outnumbered.  But with him back this weekend, we went back to our usual errand running.  Plus Daddy doesn't really lend himself to planning - that's more my thing - and we never stick to the kids' nap or food schedules, invariably causing meltdowns.  Plus he really wanted to have time with her, so I took Lion most of the weekend while they went to the playground, rode bikes, etc.  And while I know she enjoyed that time, she also tends to do better with some Mommy one-on-one.  I'm assuming the combination of things contributed to her tough weekend, behaviorally.  But today is our afternoon together, so hopefully we'll get things back on track.  Plus Hubbie left yesterday for a three day trip, so we're back to our super calm survival mode anyway.  Although not without a difficult transition back into single parenting as the kids see the changes again.  Just more evidence that what we need is more calm, more contemplation and quality time, and less busy busy.

Oh. My. GAWD.

Hubbie isn't working this weekend.

[pause] [pause] [pause]

Apparently they finished the document and are taking a quick breather before moving on to build the oral presentation. Overwhelmed with riches. Don't even know what to do with myself. Ourselves. Who only knows. Giddy.

Filling the weekend

I just looked at the calendar and realized we have NO plans this weekend.  Not a one.  No birthday parties, no errand obligations, nada.  I sort of don't know what to do with myself, although with hubbie's work-a-thon 2011 ongoing, it's more like what to do with myself and two small children in tow.  I'd really like to go furniture hunting, but that sounds like a bad idea, no?

With Lion's Christening coming up (if we don't reschedule it... no one seems able to come!), the thought of having people to our house is inspiring some frantic pondering about sprucing things up.  I love that we took our time finishing the interior of the house... especially since I've been really unhappy with some things I rushed to get down when we first moved in.  How we use the house has changed SO much.  I have some regrets, and when it comes to furniture purchases, that STINKS.  But we've been here for over six years now (can it be??), and I've never been happy with the living room, among others.  And the years of acquisition of kid stuff with no time to organize it haven't helped. 

If I could only do something about the monster, formal sofa we inherited from the in-laws.  It's lovely and unique, and we dropped a bunch of money reupholstering it (one regret).  But formal is all wrong for our lives.  I have no idea how to work around it.  But I think if I find two relatively neutral and traditional occasional chairs to go opposite it, it will at least complete the room and hopefully not limit us in our ability to use them again later when we can plan to really get the room the way we want it.  Maybe this should contribute to the decision to reschedule?  If we do, that gives me more time to find the chairs!  Hee hee.

But seriously, we haven't even decided on a Godfather, and NONE of his biological Aunts and Uncles can be there.  Neither can one Grandparent.  Not an auspicious start.  Not that it has to be a big shindig, but it's such a nice time to give people an excuse to get together.  They haven't seen him in so long!  Methinks this is one of those decisions I actually need Hubbie's input to make, though, and he's impossible to reach.  That's my excuse.

Gosh I love childcare arrangements.

Are you kidding?  Our nanny texts yesterday morning that she's got a stomach bug.  Hubbie is still working constantly with no flex, and I'm still way negative on my leave from taking maternity leave.  So any time I don't work I don't get paid.  And I need to get paid.  So I get Monkey a playdate after school until 3pm, but what about the Lion?  We have grandparents in the area, so they can bail us out sometimes.  But Granddad doesn't think he's up for the Lion... too active.  And Mimi has an appointment she can't move.  So I just lost a day of work. 

Granted, it was a nice day.  Got to spend some quality time with Lion, visit with some of the other Moms, and then pick Monkey up myself, which she loves.  Cancelled the playdate after realizing I'd have to be home anyway.)  Ran some errands and did laundry.

But again, this morning with the scramble.  Mimi coming over to play with Lion.  Monkey getting picked up by Granddad.  How to get him a carseat?  Lay out everything for Mimi.  Get to work.... 2 hours late and after boss arrives so I'm totally busted.

Balance is a crock.

Groove going again.

I finally feel like I'm getting a groove going with this parenting-solo thing.  I'm not going to call it single parenting, because I think that a huge part of what makes that difficult is living on a single income.  But that's a tangent.  I'm just getting the hang of things after two-plus months.  I no longer dread doing dinner and two bedtimes alone.  I get home, get the download from our nanny, finish dinner with Monkey while feeding Lion and myself.  Then a few minutes of play, or dancing, or Valentine-making before Lion gets plopped into bed.  Monkey hangs out while we do his routine, which is sweet.  Then Monkey to bed herself, relishing her new pajama options. 

What's more, I no longer resent not having anyone to talk to or sit with.  Actually, I'm starting to really enjoy the silence once the kids are in bed.  I get to pick my own TV shows - no more Military Channel! - or even just read quietly in bed without feeling compelled to wring some quality time out of the few hours we get after work.  Or last night, when I had a marathon conversation with an old friend that was seriously invigorating.  I never would have done that if hubbie had been home.  Tonight I may DVR a movie that hubbie NEVER would have gone in for.  Something sensitive and gushy.  Or (gasp) introspective.  Or with subtitles! 

Now, of course, the problem is his life-sucking project is almost over.  This is a great thing, and I'll be glad to have him back.  But I will soon have to give up my new found independence, just when I've grown to appreciate it.  Isn't that the way it always works?

And we danced.

Monkey and I danced the entire Nutcracker last night.  With our own choreography, of course.  She's starting to add little flourishes as she dances; delicate hands, swoops, finger movements.  We took turns flitting around the living room, and sometimes added a pas de deux (sp?) with a bear, a flower, or Mickey Mouse.  So precious.  Wish I had pictures to share, but I was needed as a dancer.

Both of her Grandmothers took ballet pretty seriously.  Moi, not so much, although I have always loved the act of totally amateur dancing.  I'm starting to suspect it skips a generation.  I may have years of (the cutest little) leotards ahead of me...