Obsessed.

After almost seven years in our house, I am finally ready to make something work in our living room. Which you walk right into from the front door, so it's the first-impression maker of the whole house. Unless you count the yard, which I don't count because the idea of tackling it is so overwhelming I've decided to ignore it.

Back to business. When we bought the house, there was a run on older family members downsizing, cleaning out, etc., that ultimately meant we were offered ALL of the stuff they didn't want. And in moving from a one bedroom apartment to a four bedroom house, silly us thought that was great. And I guess it was, for a time. Until we realized none of it went together, wasn't our style to begin with, and trying to get rid of it would be loaded with sentiment for the original giver. Crap.

But I'm obsessed with Young House Love - does anyone else check in every day? It makes me feel empowered to tackle these projects that seem so HARD. They did a post a while back on a gallery wall, which started my dominoes falling about our entire dining room/living room/staircase/upstairs landing zone. And after a few weeks of mulling it over, browsing online, and seriously assessing my own resources - financial and time - I think I have a plan of action that will leave it all actually presentable. I KNOW.

1. Gallery Wall. Our living room already has a deep, colonial blue accent wall around the fireplace, which I love. First step will be to paint the opposing staircase wall the same blue, and then take all of the beloved pictures scattered around the house, put them in white frames, and create a staircase gallery wall. I figure it will provide a double whammy of getting a lot of clutter off our various horizontal surfaces, and remedy this big, blank space our stairs have been since we moved in. I may carry the gallery wall up to the small upstairs landing that is currently nothing more than a clutter magnet. Not sure I'd paint up there, though - might be too dark.

2. Living Room makeover. I'm going to move an antique secretary we currently have to just to the right of the front door and start actually using it as a mail zone. Right now we have a wobbly little table there (bad idea with the Lion) that is covered with PILES of mail. The secretary will help me get in the routine of sorting and throwing away every day, then coming back to bills and other things that need to be handled on a regular basis. How do other people handle this?

We have WAY too much color in the living room right now, what with the deep blue accent wall, light blue inherited sofa, green print chair, and predominately red (but does pull in the other colors) rug. The rug and green chair are getting relocated to other places. I'd like to buy two of these chairs to go across from the light blue sofa, with a small, dark wood cabinet between them.

Then I'd like a neutral rug to tie it all together, make the room brighter than the red rug does, and just generally calm things down. Something with a soft geometric print, maybe. Like this.

3. Dining Room makeover. The dining room is also really dark. There's a big, heavy rug from my Dad, which he says he doesn't care what we do with, but I do. A dilemma yet to be solved. Maybe my brother also cares about it and would like to give it a good home? :)
So I think I'd like something like one of these, so both brighten things up, make it more neutral, and tie into the adjacent living room blues. The rug on the left is probably my preference, but my husband seems to dislike the natural materials (this is jute) category of rugs, so I'm also considering a blue dhurrie like this one, on the right. While I love it, it might be too much to have it be so similar to what I'd like for the living room. Blech.

4. Spare bedroom/office. This place is a total junk room right now. When we had the basement finished, everything that was in it went into this unused spare bedroom on the main floor, and we've never recovered. Now every time he cleans up, dearest husband simply takes everything and puts it in there. Not helpful. My goal is to throw away almost everything in there, move in the living room rug and maybe green chair, and turn it into an office and functioning spare bedroom. Which we need now that our amazing nanny occupies the basement room. It needs to be emptied and painted. The previous owners left it a heinous orange color. I'll also need to take down some 70's era wall shelves. Think Mike Brady's office. Bad juju.

I may also put the green chair on the upstairs landing, if I find another place to store my bulk diaper purchases. And repair my childhood dresser with the drawer fronts hanging off the frame. Yes, I'm serious. It's all glamour here, folks.

So now I need to figure out how all this should start. I think I need to force myself to show some real commitment to this before I buy the chairs or a rug (if I finalize a rug choice), so right now I'm looking for time to paint the staircase where the gallery wall will go. Paint is also so motivating - you really can make a huge impact with not so much work, once you've gotten the hang of it.

Wish me luck, people.

Research. Obsessively.

A post at one of my fave Mommy blogs just got my research juices flowing, and I needed to share. I was a psychology major in college, which at the time felt like a huge indulgence. Picking a major because I LIKE it? Shame on me. I should be picking something USEful. So I double majored, and while the Government major probably helped me get jobs and into grad school, the psych has a lot more to do with how I think about policy. A lot more.

Regardless, I'm one of those rare dorky people who actually likes reading published research. I don't mean the executive summaries, people, I mean the 20+ pages in academic journals that detail all of the survey development and sampling methodology that let me decide whether I trust their data for myself.

So when I became a Mom, I started turning this propensity on to researching things for my kids. As I've alluded to before, I had a terrible time breastfeeding and was really incredibly hard on myself about it. If my body couldn't make milk, should I even have been a Mom in the first place? My total devotion to (ok obsession with) this failure landed me straight in post partum depression, until a number of things happened to show me that Monkey needed me to be happy and healthy more than she needed to nurse.

A few good friends smacked me around, verbally speaking, and gave me the strength to figure out that not being able to nurse was not the end of the world. And when I could see a little more clearly, I turned to the research. And you know what? It's not that big a deal! I won't go into it here, 'cause I know it's ridiculously hot button for some people, but it was clear to me that the numbers did not prove any harm would be done to my children by skipping the breastmilk. And the research empowered me to get back to the most important business of caring for my child.

Phew. Didn't mean to go there, actually, but there it is.

Blog challenge - Day 9

What virtues do you value in yourself?

Hmmm, this is a hard one for me, because everything I value in myself I can also see as a negative in certain situations.  I'm not particularly romantic about these things, apparently.

Pro:  I have a big heart and I always give people the benefit of the doubt.  I avoid criticizing people at all costs.  I want everyone around me to be happy, even if I end up the only unhappy one.  This is part of my oldest child of divorced parents shtick.  I like to solve people's problems. 

Con:  I get walked all over sometimes.  I also really struggle with giving constructive feedback, and by the time I'm ready to say something that might be construed as negative, I'm probably pretty worked up about it, and that does not make for a productive conversation.  Once my switch is flipped, I'm completely fed up.  No middle ground.  The other con here is that I probably care too much about what other people think in general.

Pro:  I'm very progress-oriented.  My husband, while we were dating, told me that one of the things he admired in me was that I was always trying to improve myself.  It's probably the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, and it was one of those moments where I knew he really 'got' me.  I'm always looking for the next step - be it learning about developmental areas for the kids, snapping up off-season bargains on things they'll need next year, considering what family to see over Thanksgiving and how it will impact Christmas and Easter, and so on.  I'm highly planned and always aware of contingencies.  I've been told I would be FABULOUS at emergency management for just this reason.

Con:  It's totally paralyzing.  You can never accommodate every 'what-if' hypothetical, and trying to come up with a strategy to cover them all makes actually pulling the trigger on a big decision torturous.

Pro:  This is probably obvious from the other two, but I really think things through before I do them.  I take my commitments incredibly seriously, from significant promises to friends down to RSVPs.  If I take some action, I will totally own it.  If wasn't willing to talk about it, I wouldn't have done it in the first place.  Maybe this is an offshoot of growing up and working around politics, but I call it the Washington Post rule.  If you aren't willing to have it on the front page of the newspaper, then don't do it!  Maybe that's why I have a high comfort level with blogging.  While I'm a fairly private person unless you know me well, this dynamic makes me very forthcoming.  It's also probably why several people over my lifetime have asked if I want to run for office someday.  To which I say NONONONONONO NONONONONO!  Hell, no.  Ugh.  Shudder.  No.  I should probably take it as a compliment, but I mostly find it very confusing, since I don't consider myself to be remotely like what I know about public office holders in either good or bad ways.  And would NEVER survive that lifestyle.

Con:  I don't take risks lightly.  I've had my wild moments, and definitely done things I regret, but there aren't too many and I know (believe you me!) what they are.  There are only a very few I feel strongly I'd like to take back.   As I get older, though, I sometimes wish I had lived more freely (not loosely, people.  Freely.)  Taken more risks.  Tried  unconventional paths and been more open to new and unusual experiences.  Not been so serious.  Had more fun?

It's funny.  While Monkey was clearly glad to have her Dad around this weekend, she also did a lot of acting up.  When it's just me, life is very calm, because I've learned not to take very much on when I'm outnumbered.  But with him back this weekend, we went back to our usual errand running.  Plus Daddy doesn't really lend himself to planning - that's more my thing - and we never stick to the kids' nap or food schedules, invariably causing meltdowns.  Plus he really wanted to have time with her, so I took Lion most of the weekend while they went to the playground, rode bikes, etc.  And while I know she enjoyed that time, she also tends to do better with some Mommy one-on-one.  I'm assuming the combination of things contributed to her tough weekend, behaviorally.  But today is our afternoon together, so hopefully we'll get things back on track.  Plus Hubbie left yesterday for a three day trip, so we're back to our super calm survival mode anyway.  Although not without a difficult transition back into single parenting as the kids see the changes again.  Just more evidence that what we need is more calm, more contemplation and quality time, and less busy busy.

Filling the weekend

I just looked at the calendar and realized we have NO plans this weekend.  Not a one.  No birthday parties, no errand obligations, nada.  I sort of don't know what to do with myself, although with hubbie's work-a-thon 2011 ongoing, it's more like what to do with myself and two small children in tow.  I'd really like to go furniture hunting, but that sounds like a bad idea, no?

With Lion's Christening coming up (if we don't reschedule it... no one seems able to come!), the thought of having people to our house is inspiring some frantic pondering about sprucing things up.  I love that we took our time finishing the interior of the house... especially since I've been really unhappy with some things I rushed to get down when we first moved in.  How we use the house has changed SO much.  I have some regrets, and when it comes to furniture purchases, that STINKS.  But we've been here for over six years now (can it be??), and I've never been happy with the living room, among others.  And the years of acquisition of kid stuff with no time to organize it haven't helped. 

If I could only do something about the monster, formal sofa we inherited from the in-laws.  It's lovely and unique, and we dropped a bunch of money reupholstering it (one regret).  But formal is all wrong for our lives.  I have no idea how to work around it.  But I think if I find two relatively neutral and traditional occasional chairs to go opposite it, it will at least complete the room and hopefully not limit us in our ability to use them again later when we can plan to really get the room the way we want it.  Maybe this should contribute to the decision to reschedule?  If we do, that gives me more time to find the chairs!  Hee hee.

But seriously, we haven't even decided on a Godfather, and NONE of his biological Aunts and Uncles can be there.  Neither can one Grandparent.  Not an auspicious start.  Not that it has to be a big shindig, but it's such a nice time to give people an excuse to get together.  They haven't seen him in so long!  Methinks this is one of those decisions I actually need Hubbie's input to make, though, and he's impossible to reach.  That's my excuse.